Escape to Paradise: Saala Hotel, Isiolo, Kenya - Your Dream Getaway Awaits!
Okay, buckle up buttercups, because we're diving headfirst into the shimmering mirage of the Saala Hotel in Isiolo, Kenya. "Your Dream Getaway Awaits!" screams the tagline. Right? Let's see if this paradise is actually… well, paradise-y. I'm a skeptic at heart, a hotel-sniffing dog, and I'm ready to dig up the truth.
First Impressions: The Arrival & Accessibility (Or Lack Thereof, Potentially)
Getting to the Saala… that's half the battle, isn't it? Luckily, they offer airport transfer. Score one for convenience. And they have car parking [free of charge] and car park [on-site]. Sweet. I'm not fancy enough for valet parking, but hey, it's there if you are!
Okay, the juicy bit: Accessibility. This is where things get… interesting. The website mentions facilities for disabled guests, but doesn't go into specifics. Does that mean ramps? Accessible rooms? Honestly, it's a gamble. This is a HUGE area where they need to shine, because, you know, everyone deserves a dream getaway. We need to see more details. It does have an elevator, but again, does this imply all rooms are accessible? Someone needs to get me some solid intel on this, ASAP.
The Techy Stuff: Internet, Or The Lack Thereof… Sometimes?
Okay, so internet. This is critical, people. We're living in the future! The brochure shouts about Free Wi-Fi in all rooms! and Internet access. Fantastic! But I want to know: is it actually reliable? Is the Wi-Fi in public areas speedy enough to, you know, live on? And I'm assuming no Internet [LAN] is a thing, but some people still need that, so I’m putting it on the list. Also, for special events, they offer Wi-Fi for special events, but does any of this mean anything if the signal is weak? Pray for a strong connection!
Rooms, Glorious Rooms? (Or Maybe Not?)
Right, let's get down to the nitty-gritty of the rooms. They list a TON of features available in all rooms:
- Air conditioning: Essential in Isiolo, trust me.
- Alarm clock: Helpful so you don’t miss your safari,
- Bathrobes: Nice touch, if you’re into that kind of thing.
- Bathroom phone: Seriously? Who uses those anymore?
- Bathtub, black out curtains: Thank the heavens. Gotta get some quality sleep.
- Carpeting: Always a gamble. Hope it's clean
- Closet, coffee/tea maker, complimentary tea, daily housekeeping, desk, extra long bed: These are all expected and appreciated.
- Free bottled water: Always welcome.
- Hair dryer, high floor, in-room safe box: Safety first!
- Interconnecting room(s) available: Good for families, I guess.
- Internet access – LAN, Internet access – wireless: Again, a lifeline (hopefully a strong one).
- Ironing facilities, laptop workspace: For the workaholics among us.
- Linens, Mini bar, Mirror: Yep, all the usual suspects.
- Non-smoking: Great, for those of us who like to breathe.
- On-demand movies: A classic.
- Private bathroom, reading light, refrigerator: Fantastic.
- Safety/security feature, satellite/cable channels, scale, seating area, separate shower/bathtub, shower, slippers: All the bits to make you feel like royalty!
- Smoke detector, socket near the bed, sofa, soundproofing, telephone, toiletries, towels, umbrella, visual alarm, wake-up service, Wi-Fi [free], window that opens: Whew! That’s a list.
The Experience - Dining, Drinking, and… Massages?!
Okay, here’s where things get interesting. Let’s talk food and fun. This is where I can let my inner foodie and relaxaholic roam free.
Restaurants: They have multiple! Including Asian cuisine in restaurant, International cuisine in restaurant, Vegetarian restaurant, and Western cuisine in restaurant. A la carte, buffet, or something in between? The Coffee/tea in restaurant is a must. I'm also a sucker for a snack bar and poolside bar. Happy hour, anyone?
Breakfast: Asian breakfast, Western breakfast and the classic Breakfast [buffet] and Breakfast service are available. Breakfast in room - that should be standard these days. If I'm staying somewhere I want to be lazy.
Drinking: It’s crucial to know what kind of vibe we are talking about, If they have a bar that’s a good start.
For the soul(and body!): Spa, Spa/sauna, Steamroom, Pool with view. Ooh la la! Body scrub, Body wrap, Fitness center, Foot bath, Gym/fitness, Massage, Swimming pool, Swimming pool [outdoor], are all on the list. The promise of a sauna is enough to get me halfway there. The ability to get a massage in heaven? Well, that's a recipe for relaxation!
Anecdote Time: Getting Lost in the Massage
Okay, I need to talk about massages. I spent a solid week at a place in Bali once where the massages were like, transcendental experiences. You know, the kind where you forget your name, your worries, and possibly, your own existence? That's the goal, right? I’m hoping the Saala's massage can deliver that same level of bliss. I'm envisioning a masseuse with magic hands, the scent of essential oils, and… well, pure, unadulterated relaxation. If I can't find paradise within a massage, where can I find it? I’ll keep you updated!
Things to Do & Ways to Relax (Beyond Massages…)
Okay, beyond the spa, what's the actual stuff? Do they have any Things to do really? Other ways to relax? Is that Pool with view really a view, or just a concrete box? I really hope for a really clear view and access to it. I'm also not sure how many people know what a fitness center is, so they need to clearly explain to the customer, what it is, and what it isn't.
Cleanliness & Safety: Keeping The Germs Away
Cleanliness needs to be top-notch, especially post-pandemic. They list a lot of encouraging things:
- Anti-viral cleaning products
- Cashless payment service
- Daily disinfection in common areas
- Hand sanitizer
- Hot water linen and laundry washing
- Hygiene certification
- Individually-wrapped food options
- Physical distancing of at least 1 meter
- Professional-grade sanitizing services
- Rooms sanitized between stays
- Safe dining setup
- Sanitized kitchen and tableware items
- Staff trained in safety protocol
- Sterilizing equipment
- Daily housekeeping
All solid signs. They also have Safety/security feature, security [24-hour], Smoke alarms, fire extinguishers, CCTV in common areas, CCTV outside property, smoke detector. All the essentials!
Services and Conveniences: Making Life Easier
This is where the hotel either shines or falls flat.
- Air conditioning in public area: Crucial.
- Audio-visual equipment for special events: Okay, so they do on site event hosting too!
- Business facilities
- Cash withdrawal
- Concierge
- Contactless check-in/out: Thank goodness!
- Convenience store
- Currency exchange
- Doorman
- Dry cleaning
- Facilities for disabled guests (Again, needs more detail!)
- Food delivery
- Gift/souvenir shop
- Indoor venue for special events
- Invoice provided
- Ironing service
- Laundry service
- Luggage storage
- Meeting/banquet facilities, Meetings, Meeting stationery
- Outdoor venue for special events
- Projector/LED display
- Safety deposit boxes
- Seminars
- Shrine, Smoking area, Terrace
- Wi-Fi for special events
- Xerox/fax in business center
For the Kids (If You Have Them)
- Babysitting service
- Family/child friendly
- Kids facilities
- Kids meal
Great if you happen to have a family in tow!
**
Escape to Paradise: Grace Patong Hotel Awaits in Phuket!
Alright, buckle up buttercups, 'cause you're about to get a peek into my Isiolo adventure, the good, the bad, and the utterly bewildered. We're talking Saala Hotel, remember that name, it'll probably be branded into my memory alongside the taste of the dust that infiltrated every crevice of my being. This ain't your perfectly polished travel brochure, this is me, battling baggage fees and the questionable wisdom of booking a safari in peak heat. Here we go…
Day 1: The Arrival and the… Dust.
- Morning (and the existential dread of flying): Left Nairobi. The flight was delayed, naturally. Spent an hour contemplating the utter worthlessness of airport coffee. You'd think after all these years, they'd figure out a decent brew, but nope. Just lukewarm brown water and the lingering scent of disappointment. Landed in Isiolo, breathed deeply. Wrong move. The air, oh god, the air. It was a gritty, sunbaked embrace. My hair immediately morphed into a static-y Brillo pad.
- Afternoon: (Welcome to Saala. You are now dust-covered.): Checked into Saala Hotel. First impression? "Rustic charm" aka "budget-friendly with… character." The room was… functional. The AC promised relief, but mainly whispered vaguely of cool air whilst battling the onslaught of the sun. The bedsheets… well, let's just say they told a story. A story of previous guests, maybe a decade long saga.
- Afternoon (and the quest for a cold drink): Wandered the grounds, which, let's be honest, weren't much to wander. Found the pool. Looked inviting. Dive in? Nope. Too dusty. The hotel's little eatery promised cold drinks. Ordered a soda. It was warm. This, my friends, is when the cracks in my carefully constructed itinerary began to widen. I swore, right there and then, to find a truly ice-cold beverage. One of the staff mentioned that the generator takes a 1 hour break. And they all said it will come back on at 6pm sharp. I'm still waiting.
- Evening (Dinner and the Ghosts of Mosquitoes past): Dinner was… edible. The goat stew was surprisingly good; the ugali? Let's just say it could double as a doorstop. Ate quickly, partly because I was starving, partly because the mosquitoes were circling like tiny, buzzing vultures. The lights flickered off. I'm pretty sure that was the generator deciding it was time for its own existential crisis. Ate the meal in darkness.
- Night (Sleepless Nights): Sleep was evasive. The heat, the memories of dust, and the incessant buzzing of mosquitoes. Managed maybe three hours of broken sleep, punctuated by scratching and the overwhelming feeling that I was being slowly, painstakingly, devoured.
Day 2: The Safari…or, the Search for the Big Five (and a decent cup of coffee).
- Morning (The Coffee Conundrum): Wake up. Determined to locate a decent cup of coffee. Walked to the eatery in the hotel. Nope. Coffee machine wasn't working. "Oh, the generator" they said. "It will be fixed." Went back to the room in despair.
- Morning (The Safari…sort of): Early morning safari. Booked through a local operator recommended by the hotel. The jeep was… let's call it "seasoned." The driver, bless his heart, was clearly used to my level of enthusiasm (read: constantly questioning the safety levels of the vehicle). We saw… things. Gazelles. Some ostriches doing their awkward bird-dance. A lone giraffe, elegantly munching on a tree. Beautiful, actually. But, where were the lions? The elephants? The elusive leopard? The driver just smiled and said, "They're shy." I felt a strange mix of disappointment and relief—disappointment because big cats are awesome, relief because, well, I wasn't sure I wanted to be that close to them.
- Afternoon (Double Down on an Experience : Trying to Escape the Dust). Back at the hotel (after a long session of driving I needed to go back to the hotel). I was determined to shower. It was a desperate act, a plea to my soul to be clean again. I stepped in the shower and turned the knob and nothing. Well, nothing except a trickle of lukewarm water. So, I stared at the water for what seemed like a lifetime. I took a deep breath, and poured the bucket of water over my head. The water washed away the dust, the grime, the memories. For a moment, I felt alive. I felt at peace. And then the water ran out. I was left with a realization: I was just going to be forever dust covered.
- Afternoon (and the Lunch Disaster): Lunch? Oh my god, lunch. The same eatery, the same lack of options. The same staff. The same dust. Ordered a sandwich that was so dry, so void of any flavor, it was a crime against ingredients. Halfway through, I gave up. Went back to my room, utterly defeated.
- Evening (Sundowner…or, the mosquito massacre pt.2): "Sundowners" were promised. A chance to watch the sunset with a cold drink. Sounded lovely, right? The generator worked, I finally had a cold drink. The sun turned the sky into a riot of colors. But the mosquitoes. They were out in full force. The sunset was gorgeous, but it was also a battleground. I lost… and I needed to sleep to fight again.
Day 3: Departure (or, the bittersweet scent of freedom).
- Morning (The Last Stand): Woke up to the familiar hum of the AC and the faint scent of… something. Didn't want to find out. After a quick breakfast to get ready for an extremely long travel.
- Morning (Attempted Shopping): Found "market" outside the hotel. There was beautiful stuff; beaded necklaces, colorful fabrics. But the heat, the dust.. I was just not in a shopping mood.
- Morning (The Drive to Airport): The drive to the airport. Goodbye Isiolo! Goodbye (hopeful, naive) expectations!
- Afternoon (Nairobi and the Return): Landed back in Nairobi. The air was clean. The coffee, even at the airport, was a revelation.
Quirks, Observations, and Emotional Reactions:
- The Dust: It’s pervasive. It is everywhere. I’m pretty sure I’m still shedding it.
- The Staff (Saala Hotel): They’re doing their best. They're genuinely kind, even if the service is a little… slow.
- The Isolation: Isiolo feels… remote. You’re out there, in the middle of nowhere, with nothing but your thoughts and the occasional herd of goats for company.
- Emotional Rambling: This trip was a rollercoaster. Exasperation, awe, boredom, elation, and the constant, low-level hum of the mosquitos. I’m glad I did it…but I'm also really, really glad to be home.
- The Future: Will I ever go back to Isiolo? Probably not. But would I do it all over again? Absolutely. Even the dust. It's a story, right? And trust me, I have one heck of a story to tell now.
Escape to Paradise: Saala Hotel, Isiolo, Kenya - Your Dream Getaway &...Maybe Not? A Messy FAQ!
Okay, so "Paradise"... What's the REAL deal with Saala Hotel? Is it actually, you know, *good*?
Alright, alright, let's cut the marketing fluff. "Paradise" is a strong word, yeah? Look, Saala Hotel in Isiolo... it's an experience. Honestly? Sometimes it feels like you've stumbled into a hidden gem, other times you're questioning your life choices. I went in expecting pristine beaches and cocktails with tiny umbrellas. Reality? Well, it's Isiolo. Think vast, arid landscapes, the hum of a different kind of life, and a refreshing lack of the tourist herd mentality. So, "good"? Depends. It's *interesting*. Expect charm, but maybe not the kind you find in a glossy brochure. The food can be fantastic (more on that later!), the staff are generally lovely, but paradise? Let's call it a slice of genuine, *slightly* dusty, Kenyan heaven.
What's the best time to visit? And will I melt from the heat?
Okay, heat! Yes, it's hot. Seriously hot. Think sun beating down, and if you're fair-skinned like yours truly (read: easily burnt!), you'll become a lobster in about five minutes flat. The dry season (June to October) is probably best – less chance of those random downpours that can mess up your plans – but remember, it's *still* scorching during the day. Pack sunscreen, a hat, and consider becoming best friends with the air conditioning (which, thankfully, Saala has, thank god!). My own personal anecdote? I forgot my sunscreen on one day trip to the Buffalo Springs area. Let's just say I spent the next three days resembling a particularly angry tomato. Lesson learned the HARD way. Also, watch out for the sandflies. They are evil tiny vampires.
The rooms: Are they clean? Are they comfy? Are they haunted? (Okay, maybe not that last one...)
The rooms…right. They're functional. Don't expect a Four Seasons, okay? They're generally clean enough, though those adventurous little critters of the insect world might occasionally poke their heads in to say hello. The beds are fine – comfortable enough for a good night's sleep after a long day of exploring. And haunted? Nope! (At least, I didn't encounter any ghosts. I did hear a particularly persistent gecko chattering one night, which almost gave me a heart attack though). The bathrooms are basic, the shower's pressure might fluctuate, but hey, you're in the middle of Kenya, not a five-star resort. Embrace the imperfections! Honestly, after a few days, you stop noticing the little things – you're too busy being awestruck by the landscape, or desperately searching for that rogue wifi signal.
Food! Spill the beans! What's the grub like? Especially the local stuff?
Okay, the food, let's talk! This is where Saala *really* shines. The chef? Seriously, a culinary wizard! The breakfast buffet is good. And for lunch and dinner? Embrace the local flavors! Think delicious, savory stews with tender meat (goat, mostly, but sometimes beef), flavorful rice, and piles of fresh vegetables. The ugali? A MUST-TRY. (It's a dense cornmeal porridge that’s an essential part of Kenyan cuisine. Don't be afraid to dig in with your hands!). The chapati are amazing too! Sometimes there’s a bit of a wait (it's not fast food!), but believe me, it's worth it. One night, I ate a whole plate of goat stew, and I am not ashamed. (Maybe I ate *two* plates, actually.) The downside? You might find yourself craving that goat stew for weeks after you leave! Oh, and the occasional adventurous fly decides to join your meal. I learned to ignore it. Mostly.
What kind of activities are there? Do I need to sit still the whole time?
Goodness, no! Don't sit still! That's the whole point! Saala is a launchpad for adventure. Game drives! Book one! They're incredible. You'll see elephants, giraffes, lions (if you're lucky!), all in their natural habitat. Buffalo Springs is a must-visit park near Saala (and if you’re VERY lucky, you might spot some rare wildlife!!). There are also cultural visits you can do, exploring the local communities. (Be respectful, of course!) Honestly, the list goes on. One time, I went on a walk, and I was almost trampled by a giraffe! It was terrifying and amazing all at the same time. The hotel staff can arrange most things for you. If you're the type who enjoys lounging by a pool, then, yes, you can do that too, relaxing with cold beverage. But trust me, get out there and explore! You'll regret it if you don't. Just... maybe pack some insect repellent. Seriously.
Is the wifi any good? Because, you know, Instagram.
Okay, the wifi. Let's rip off the band-aid. It's... patchy. Think intermittent bursts of connectivity, and at times, utter, soul-crushing silence. Don't go expecting to stream movies or upload your entire holiday album instantly. Embrace the digital detox! It's actually kind of... liberating. I mean, it's tough at first. You WILL have a minor freak-out when you can't post that perfect sunset photo. But then... then you start actually *experiencing* the sunset. You'll be able to find a signal sometimes in the main areas, and some rooms, but don't bank on it. My advice? Accept the limitations, and plan your Insta-ops accordingly. Or, you know, just switch your phone off and enjoy the escape. You're in Africa! Be present! Get a life! (Just kidding... mostly.)
Safety? Is Isiolo safe for tourists? What about petty crime?
Safety is always a concern when travelling and I am not here to be a sales pitch. In my experience, the staff at Saala are dedicated and very attentive. The hotel itself feels quite secure. Isiolo is generally considered a safe area, and the community is hospitable. The hotel staff and your drivers will also give you advice, so definitely listen to them and heed their warnings. It is important to avoid wandering around alone at night. Just plan, and be aware of your surroundings. Use common sense. Don't flash expensive jewelry or wads of cash! Trust me, it's better safe than sorry. (And, again, listen to your local guides. They know the area best!).
